Thursday, November 30, 2006

It Was Good

The show last night was good. It lasted almost three hours. But that didn't matter. All that really mattered was that I was able to enjoy an evening with my wife. For those three hours, financial pains didn't matter, struggles to pay bills didn't matter, medical worries didn't matter. I was simply able to enjoy time with my wife. And what a blessing that was.

By the way, if you live in Findlay and you get a chance to see the show, you should. It might not make you laugh, and it might not make you cry, but it will entertain you. And, you'll get to see eight very well made vests.

On another note, I had a job interview this morning. Took a computerized assessment of my ability for the position, and was told by the computer that the company would be unwise to proceed with me. At least this company didn't drag it out over weeks before telling me they didn't want me. I suppose now it's back to the old drawing boards. Anyone got suggestions or connections?

On a related note, this would usually bum me out, but I'm not really bumming today about it. I was driving home and God just inspired joy in me, to see happiness in the world around me, which is really odd since I'm driving home in a drizzling rain from a job interview where I got rejected. Odd, huh?

Anyway, He put this new song into my heart. I don't know how new it actually is, but I've never heard it before and just started singing it, so I thought I'd share the lyrics with anyone who reads this:

I know that I don’t always see the blessings in my life
I know that I can’t always see through the gloom and pain
I know that I won’t always sing about the work you do
I know that I don’t always look for the light in the dark

So, I want to thank you
Thank you for this day
And, I want to thank you
For the air I breathe
To thank you for the things I see
For all the warmth that’s around me

I know every blessing that I have
Is constructed by your hand
I know that all that’s within this soul
Was made by your great command

And I want to thank you,
Here and now
And I want to love you,
Here and now
And I want to praise you,
Here and now
And I want to be yours
Here and now

Here and now
Here and now
And forevermore

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


The sensation of being in zero gravity ... now that's something I'd like to experience. Wether in actual outer space (which would be very sweet), or some kind of simulation, I get the feeling it would just be a rush like no other.

But, I'd also like to feel another type of weightlessness. They type where you don't feel the heavy burdens on your chest and your life. Where you aren't weighed down by expectations, schedules, evaluations, and the such. Where you are just free to live life as it comes.

I think the last time I really felt that way was over a year ago. Rachel and I were on our honeymoon/one year anniversary trip to Denver, and we stopped just west of Denver by Mount Evans for lunch and located a pizza place called Beau Jo's. And we sat, and we enjoyed ourselves. We talked, and we didn't have to rush off. We didn't have to order from the menu based solely on price. We were able to try new things (like honey on our pizza crust). It was totally unplanned, but totally amazing. To this day, we still talk about how good Beau Jo's is, and how we'd return to Denver just to eat there.

And, maybe i'm romanticizing the moment. Maybe there have been other times since then, but that one really sticks out. But I'm hoping we can get some more of those.

I think tonight might be an opportunity. Rachel made some costumes for the local theatre and they gave her two tickets for tonight's show, so we're going. And there won't be a schedule to keep, or a bill to pay, or expectations. Just me, and my wife, and (hopefully) an enjoyable show that we had a small part in putting on.

Maybe tonight we won't feel the weight of the world around us.

I sure hope so.

Monday, November 27, 2006

I don't know how to swim

This is true. In a very physical sense. Never learned how. Don't really float either. I can sink pretty well, though.

Also true on a less physical sense. No idea how to swim and not be dragged under by currents. Never learned early in my life how to deal with setbacks and disappointments, failures and shortcomings. I always succeeded. So I never learned how to swim.

Reminds me of a Superchic[k] song ...

Help me out God I need a little something
Turn the brights on I can't see where we're going
Cause I don't know when things'll work out just fine
Or if this road we're on leads us up
Or is leading me on down to my wishing well
Where I might drown oh I might drown
Cause I can't swim without you God

On a non-related note, I'm looking for a list of movies with some hidden spiritual meaning. Nothing *blam* in your face like "Passion of the Christ", but some stuff with more hidden, secret almost, spiritual undertones. I've got a good list to start with, but I'm always looking for more. Let me know what you got to add to this list:

  • The Three Lord of the Rings
  • The six Star Wars
  • Toy Story
  • The Incredibles
  • The Princess Bride
  • Transformers: The Movie

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Dear Sir, You Suck

This is getting old. And I'm sick of it.

"You Suck" letters coming in from companies I've applied to.

You know the type. They say, Dear Sir, You suck. Now, leave us alone. Thanks, Management.

Well, actually, it's more like:

Dear //name//,

Thank you for your interest in becoming //job title// at //company//. We were pleased to get to know you and to interview with you. However, we are pursuing the opportunity with candidates who are //more qualified/more closely fit our qualifications/more experienced// than you.

Thank you again for your time, and good luck in your future endeavors,



I hate these letters. I hate them like Anakin Skywalker hates Tusken Raiders.

I got one today. Not that it's anything new, but it came from American Family, a job I was really hopeful about, and optimistic about, and even got my hopes and dreams wrapped around.

The whole process sucks.

Why can't a motivated young man with a college degree get a job?

I'm done with the whole thing. So frustrating, so irritating, so depressing. I'm done. I'm just done.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


That's about the best word to describe me right now.

I got a head cold from my wife (thanks, hun), and spent the night last night at her mom's house in Columbus. After some rest, chicken soup, and some medicine, I'm back in Findlay and my head is still spinning.

Ugh also at the election. Most of the things and people i voted for (or against) didn't go that way. At least the ads are gone, for a bit. But I'm sure they'll start soon for the 2008 elections. I can hardly wait.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Is it Wednesday yet?

I hate politics.

I cannot wait until Wednesday. When the stupid political ads leave my television. When I no longer have to hear about how awful people are, how stupid people are, how people have voted (in a vacuum), and how people are (or are not) associated with George W. Bush.

And while I'm on the subject, can we get to a year when I can vote on a slate based on voting for candidates who are the most qualified and best fits, rather than the least bad or least unqualified? Or at least, can we have a year when candidates focus on their strengths and tout those, rather than trying to tell us how to vote based on who we shouldn't vote for.

I hate politics.

Is it Wednesday yet?

Thursday, November 02, 2006


I'm not one who often remembers his dreams. When I do, it's quite the rarity. Even more rare is when I remember a dream that felt real. The type where you have no idea it's a dream until the next day you wake up, and the effects of the dream aren't there. Even more rare for me is to have a recurring dream like that.

So I'll share. Because that happened to me last night/this morning as I slept.

There's some sort of STE meeting taking place, but it's not a Fall Gathering or a Conclave, just a brainstorming meeting where all the chapters and national officers got together. It takes place somewhere almost directly south of Columbus, OH, but not in Ohio, although I was never quite able to pinpoint where exactly it was, but I do know it was on the campus of a large university.

Anyway, almost everyone is hating me at the meeting, and for reasons I cannot discern. I have a long list of ideas I'd like to discuss and throw out for discussion, but all the other National Officers keep giving me meaningless tasks to do to keep me busy and keep me from talking about anything productive.

Rachel is there, but is being very cold to me, and doing so deliberately, although she won't tell me why or give any clue as to why. In fact, the only people there who are doing anything nice to me at all and even listening to me are Kurt and Jason from the Beta Epsilon Chapter.

Anyway, the entire day is wasted on doing ... well, nothing, because everyone is forcing me to do meaningless tasks.

The first time the dream ended, I went to the bathroom, and then to bed, with a sick feeling in my stomach. Last night, when I went to the bathroom, I was exiting and Byron Leftwich stopped me and was getting ready to beat me to a pulp when I woke up.

(The Byron Leftwich appearance, by the way, is what tipped me off to this dream not being real)

Any dreamologists out there care to offer a take on a deep meaning for this recurring dream?