My Hope

So, as I mentioned previously, we went to see "The Nativity Story" last week. While there were a few things that went counter to what is in the Bible, there was nothing that was major among those, and I think they did a really good job painting the story, and the few things they took artistic liscense with were good things to do so with.

The major theme of the movie, to me, seemed to be the desperation among the Jews for their Messiah. The despair among the people, the opression of the Romans, the cruel living conditions ... all made them cry out and call out for their King to come and save them.

I've been reflecting on that. How desperate have I been for my King? How many times have I honestly said "You are my hope" or "nobody but you can rescue me?"

A couple, for certain, but not often enough, I think.

Anyways, it brings to mind another Skillet song ...

Times are hard, times have changed, don’tcha say?
But I keep holding onto you
It’s hard to keep the faith alive day to day
Leanin’ on the strength I’ve found in you
You’re the hope of all the earth

You are my hope
You are my strength
You’re everything, everything I need
You are my hope
You are my life
You are my hope
You are my hope

Far beyond what I can see or comprehend
Etching your eternity in me
Nations dream and angels sing “Jesus reigns”
And every knee bows down
You’re the hope of all the earth

You are my hope
You are my strength
You’re everything, everything I need
You are my hope
You are my life
You are my hope
You are my hope

Carry on and I sing of how
You love and I love you now
All the times that I start to sink
You come and you rescue me
You are my hope
You are my hope
You are my hope
You are my hope

And my prayer is now that my hope truly be on the shoulders of my King. That I yearn to see him rescue me from every pit of despair I find myself in, regardless of the circumstances that bring me into that pit.

It Was Good

The show last night was good. It lasted almost three hours. But that didn't matter. All that really mattered was that I was able to enjoy an evening with my wife. For those three hours, financial pains didn't matter, struggles to pay bills didn't matter, medical worries didn't matter. I was simply able to enjoy time with my wife. And what a blessing that was.

By the way, if you live in Findlay and you get a chance to see the show, you should. It might not make you laugh, and it might not make you cry, but it will entertain you. And, you'll get to see eight very well made vests.

On another note, I had a job interview this morning. Took a computerized assessment of my ability for the position, and was told by the computer that the company would be unwise to proceed with me. At least this company didn't drag it out over weeks before telling me they didn't want me. I suppose now it's back to the old drawing boards. Anyone got suggestions or connections?

On a related note, this would usually bum me out, but I'm not really bumming today about it. I was driving home and God just inspired joy in me, to see happiness in the world around me, which is really odd since I'm driving home in a drizzling rain from a job interview where I got rejected. Odd, huh?

Anyway, He put this new song into my heart. I don't know how new it actually is, but I've never heard it before and just started singing it, so I thought I'd share the lyrics with anyone who reads this:

I know that I don’t always see the blessings in my life
I know that I can’t always see through the gloom and pain
I know that I won’t always sing about the work you do
I know that I don’t always look for the light in the dark

So, I want to thank you
Thank you for this day
And, I want to thank you
For the air I breathe
To thank you for the things I see
For all the warmth that’s around me

I know every blessing that I have
Is constructed by your hand
I know that all that’s within this soul
Was made by your great command

And I want to thank you,
Here and now
And I want to love you,
Here and now
And I want to praise you,
Here and now
And I want to be yours
Here and now

Here and now
Here and now
And forevermore

I don't know how to swim

This is true. In a very physical sense. Never learned how. Don't really float either. I can sink pretty well, though.

Also true on a less physical sense. No idea how to swim and not be dragged under by currents. Never learned early in my life how to deal with setbacks and disappointments, failures and shortcomings. I always succeeded. So I never learned how to swim.

Reminds me of a Superchic[k] song ...

Help me out God I need a little something
Turn the brights on I can't see where we're going
Cause I don't know when things'll work out just fine
Or if this road we're on leads us up
Or is leading me on down to my wishing well
Where I might drown oh I might drown
Cause I can't swim without you God

On a non-related note, I'm looking for a list of movies with some hidden spiritual meaning. Nothing *blam* in your face like "Passion of the Christ", but some stuff with more hidden, secret almost, spiritual undertones. I've got a good list to start with, but I'm always looking for more. Let me know what you got to add to this list:

• The Three Lord of the Rings
• The six Star Wars
• Toy Story
• The Incredibles
• The Princess Bride
• Transformers: The Movie

Maybe not

I lie here lifeless
In this cocoon
Shedding my skin cause
I'm ready to

I wanna break out, I found a way out
I don't believe that it's gotta be this way
The worst, is the waiting
In this room I'm suffocating








... Sorry to be cryptic about myself right now ...

Meant To Live

So, sorry about the recent non-updateage. Been adjusting to a new schedule. Finally got a job, and 7 am is really early to be at work, and I'm still adjusting. But, that's kind of the point of this entry anyways.

So, I'm streaming RadioU and listening to it, and "Meant to Live" by SwitchFoot comes on. Great song. And my first thought is, honestly, "I don't want to hear this right now, it's going to depress me."

But it didn't.

Sure, I've got a Bachelor's degree, and thirty plus hours of Master's work, and despite that I'm working an eight-hour a day job at a plastic factory through a staffing agency just to pay my bills. And that's why I thought it might depress me.

But it just encouraged me.

I'm not laboring for man. I'm not laboring for myself. For the first time, I'm actually laboring for GOD. I'm moving forward in an attempt to advance his Kingdom. And, apparently, right now that part of the plan is taking the job I have and working it five days a week so I can prepare to move on to the next part of my life. If I really want "more than this world's got to offer", then why should not having a great paying and high profile job matter? Isn't HIS approval all that really matters when seeking "more than this world's got to offer"?

And that's all I want.

more than this world's got to offer
more than the wars of my father

God be glorified in all I do

Open Wounds

How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?

This Skillet song has been stuck in my head recently, specifically the chorus (quoted above). It's so easy to remember the times people we've loved and emulated have given back to us something much less than love, even approaching hate. It's easy to remember the open wounds we have from those we've loved and trusted, those we still love, and those whom we believed love(d) us.

It's also pretty easy, for me, to remember the open wounds I gave Jesus. The way I try to say I want to emulate him, and sometimes live a completely different lifestyle. The way I say I love him, yet do the same things that helped to lead to those open wounds in the first place.

It's harder for me to recognze the open wounds I'm giving to those around me. Harder for me to recognize the love I'm ignoring from thsoe around me.

It's a lesson God is teaching me now. I just hope I can learn it, and with His help, heal my open wounds, and create far, far fewer.

Wilderness

So, I was listening to my "Loud and Clear" Supertones CD on my way to and from the testing center this morning. Got stuck, once again, on the song "Wilderness". This song has spoken to me in so many ways over the years. Usually, the lines that get me are either the chorus:

Have you ever held in doubt
What this life is all about
Have you questioned all these things that seem
important to us
Do you really wanna know
Or are you a little scared
You're afraid that God is not exactly what you'd have
Him be
What should I hold to and what should I do
How do I know if anything's true
I'm somewhere in-between Canaan and Egypt
A place called the wilderness

Or the bridge:

God do you really understand what it's like to be a man
Have You ever felt the weight of loving all the
things you Hate
Have You struggled have You worried
How can You sympathize

Today, it was the start of the second verse:

I'm not one who always trusts their feelings
I don't believe in what you'd call blind faith
But faith that you can do all that you promised
And you said it all works for good

What an awesome promise! It all works for good! Everything the enemy throws at us, every attempt he makes to bring us down, every time he trips us up, God is using that, refining it, and making good come from it. He is using Satan's own plans and temptations and not only foiling them, but using them to work for good! I came to tears looking at some of the things the enemy has thrown at my life recently and in the lives of some of those around me, and just realized how amazing and all-powerful my God is that he would take these setbacks and these mistakes and these challenges and work good out for them.


I'm working on a dramatic monologue for the next five02 service, and this song is really helping to shape it. I just can't help but feel awed by the immense power of one who turns darkness into light, setbacks into advancements, and sin into glory!