The BCS and WWII

So, yeah, I'm stealing this from someone, who stole it from someone. But I don't know who they stole it from. If you know the original author, feel free to let me know.

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BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II

US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hiter said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."
The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

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w00t

Cleveland Cavaliers declared NBA Champions!



When's the parade?

Change

Even I can believe in ...

Happy Halloween!

And, lest anyone might think this not be a "Christian" Holiday ...


consider the following:

Michigan Sucks (More Proof)

My favorite highlight of the NFL this weekend, and possibly all season:




This is, in comedic value, second only to the quadruple-penalty dropped-snap punt by the Browns in last years opener against the Steelers in recent memory.

Slap Happy for Mexican Food

Rachel and I have been on a Mexican food kick. It all started the night that Mexican Night at the Zellner's Changed Our Life (That's going to be a chapter in my autobiography, by the way).

We do it often. Sometimes tacos, every once in a while enchiladas, and, recently, taco salad on occasion. Plus, the occasional trip to Maria's Tacos. But that's rare, and the real point of making Mexican is that we make it once, and with just a little work, we've got leftovers for about four meals. And it's cheap!

Normally, we'll make big grilled burritos. We take a giant burrito shell, fill it with a thick layer of cilantro rice, then cheese, then red/hot sauce (if it's mine), meat (either chicken or beef), refried beans, corn, and then more cheese. Lately, we've added sour cream to the mix. It's delicious! One of our favorite meals.

Anyways, on to the point of the blog entry. The wife was a bit slap happy today. I sent her an e-mail before lunch asking a dumb joke.

Q: What do you call a charming Mexican entree?

A: A Beau-rito

She thought it was hilarious.

So I sent her another one just before I picked her up.

Q: What kind of Mexican entree costs $200?

A: A Tac-Go!

And this proceeded a phone call with several more:

Q: What is a lawyer's favorite Mexican entree?

A: Case-adillas!

Q: What is a foot's favorite Mexican entree?

A: Toes-tadas!

And ... my favorite one of all ...

Q: What kind of Mexican entree do rulers eat by the dozen?

A: Inch-aladas!

(Go ahead ... laugh ... yes, it's stupid, but it's okay to laugh)



Sometimes, it's just good to be stupid and laugh. Got any to add?

More Political Humor

had to share, again:

Political Humor

Because sometimes the best truth comes in the form of the exaggeration:

The Liberal Insult Generator and the Conservative Insult Gnerator.

Because, it's sadly true, that often our political contests comes down to which candidate can convince the public that their insults are more true, more meaningful, and more relevant. Ain't that a sad state of affairs.


I've not clicked through them all so far (obviously, with 27,000 each), but among my favorites so far are:

fanatical bathroom-sex-seeking wackjobs (Conservative)
angry vegan-exalting losers (Liberal)
wide-stanced Constitution-shredding fascists (Conservative)
irrational Satan-appeasing bleeding hearts (Liberal)

A Joke

Ok, so I'm a sucker for groaner jokes. The kind that make you groan, because they're so stupid, but yet you can't help but at least chuckle at them.

So, here's my favorite, and I'd love to hear your favorite "groaner" joke(s)


Two termites walk into a bar

One looks at the other and says "Hey, where's the bartender?"

We're Doomed!

Is anyone prepared? Do we have proper safety precautions? Shelters? Weapons?

Because, a great terror is coming ...

Zombies are going to attack

Now that's customer service

Don't you just love automated e-mails from the companies you work with?

For instance, this past weekend, I filed our state and federal taxes with hrblock.com. Painless enough, and simple enough, and just the easiest way to do so (and the last year I can do it that way, next year my forms will be too complex with actual income from Aflac to worry about ... didn't quite make enough on my 1099-MISC this year to make it worthwhile to get a professional).

So, today, I get an e-mail from hrblock.com telling me that time is running out and I need to file soon. Apparently, they didn't get their own memo.

Just made me chuckle.

In addition, I am mad at San Fransisco Oven. They up and moved out of Findlay with no advance warning that I was aware of. And they keep e-mailing me really good coupons.

Jerks.

Least Suspected

It's always the one you least suspect. Or so they say.

So you need to be prepared for everything.

Including, a killer you might not even know exists.

Good Humor is Hard to Find

It's not easy being funny and witty, and relevant. That's why when I find something that is all three, I feel the need to share it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you The Onion and their economic stimulation plan




(BTW, is it bad that I like this plan better than the one actually being debated in Congress?)