Hidden Blessings

It's really easy to say "God knows what's best for me".

It's a decent bit tougher to live it.

About 18 months ago, when I realized that a career in academia via mathematics was not the life for me, I started to look for jobs. Like, serious looks. Putting out resumés to company after company. A few jobs I thought I could do. A few jobs I knew I was qualified for. A bunch of jobs that would have paid the bills. A career job or two that I really thought I would have enjoyed and thought I was qualified for. I looked at jobs near by. In Findlay, in Ohio, in the Midwest, in the country.

Yet, none of them panned out.

And I doubted myself. I doubted my choices. I doubted a lot of things. I wondered what was wrong with me.

I finally found a job. With Aflac. It's still isn't at the point where I've got a steady paycheck. Rachel and I still struggle to find enough money to pay all the bills every month.

But I wouldn't trade my current situation for any of the jobs I applied for earlier. Definitely not the ones that would have moved me across the country. not for any salary. The friendships I've made are worth far more than any paycheck. If I get one of those jobs last summer and move to Iowa or Arizona or Montana or something like that ... Rachel and I never get involved in Five02/jOURney, which means we miss out on great friendships with awesome people like Ryan, Andrea, Reece, Trevor, Lori, Cathy, Jim, and so on and so forth. I probably never would have gotten as intimately involved with the fraternity as I am now; I probably would have never run for reelection. That means we wouldn't have the awesome friendships we've developed. We wouldn't have had the amazing fun we had this past weekend. We wouldn't have our upcoming trip(s).

I laughed when I was younger when people would insinuate that money couldn't buy happiness. I thought they were nuts. I figured you'd always be able to prioritize around work, and be able to have money and fun. And maybe you can. But I wouldn't be willing to risk it. I'm not trading my joy for anything.

And I do have faith. Faith that a career with Aflac is exactly where God wants me. Faith that it will work out. And that it will lead to Rachel and I having our dreams come true: owning a home, raising a family, traveling, having money to help others, etc.

But in the meantime? I'll gladly trade the uncertainty in my bank account for the character and friendships I've developed.

Thank you, God, for know what was best for me.