It's Not A Sprint, It's a Marathon

I'm not one for clichés. Sometimes, however, they prove to be important. And the cliché referenced in the title of this entry is a lesson I'm currently learning in a couple of places.

First and foremost is with my career in Aflac. I'm off to a pretty slow start. Myself, my district, my regional, my wife, and just about everyone I know would like to see my writing more premium at this point in time. But it hasn't happened. For a number of reasons. Bad luck, bad timing, sometimes bad technique. And it would be easy to get discouraged.

Today was a good day, though. I saw six employees at an account in Tiffin, and we signed up five of them. The first time I can actually call something a "good day" in terms of premium production. And I was able to reflect on my previous endeavors. And I noticed I'm typically a "slow starter". My first five semesters at ONU, here are the grades I got in core courses for my major: B, B, C, C, B. I didn't get an "A" in a computational mathematics course at ONU until Spring Semester of my sophomore year. Maybe I'm just an optimist, but I like to look at that and say that pretty soon, I'll break through and start succeeding at Aflac, too.

The ONU mathematics courses aren't the only thing that indicate me as a slow starter, either. I got two "C"s in my undergraduate Real Analysis courses, before breaking through for a "B" and an "A" in my 500 level Real Analysis courses at BGSU (just don't ask me about the 600 level stuff). I got a very low grade on my first Abstract Algebra course as an undergraduate, before turning that course into the highest "A" in the class, followed by that professor taking me under his wing for two independent study courses in Abstract Algebra that followed that, and two "A's" in my 500 level courses at BGSU. Heck, it's laughable how many times I screwed up early on trying to court Rachel!

So, I'm encouraged that I can take a step back, look at my Aflac career, and recognize it for what it is: a marathon, not a sprint. I want to be in it for the longhaul. I want the 10+, 20+ year career with Aflac, not the 2-year cash flow, followed by burn-out. I want to learn the good habits that will get me through slow months later on.

Oh, right ... I said there were a couple of places I was learning this lesson. The other is dealing with grief.

I initially thought this was a sprint. I moved on quickly a couple of years back when Grandpa and Erin passed away. I pre-dealt with the death of my grandmother. And I thought I mourned and quickly moved on with JZ, too.

I've recently found out that it wasn't so easy with JZ. I've had plenty of "rough days" recently, with memories flooding me, and emotions overwhelming me. It's opened up the floodgates to grief from Grandpa and Erin, too, that I thought I was past.

Rachel and I were working on the office over the weekend, trying to get it set up for reorganization. I stumbled upon the bulletin from Erin's memorial at ONU, and then almost broke the plaque my mother bought for my wedding that was in memory of Grandpa. I couldn't even identify all the emotions that swarmed over me, I just know I didn't like them.

I guess this is good though. I guess the first step in really dealing with my grief is to recognize that I have to give it some level of priority and actually deal with it, not expect it to pass because I want to move on. I just hoped this would be a sprint, but unfortunately, I'm learning it's a very, very long marathon.

It might even be a triathlon.

I hope not. I don't know how to swim.