Loss of Man Card

So, on Thursday nights, some fellas from my church go to Wings 'n' Things here in town to watch the NFL Network Thursday night game. I've been the last two weeks, and both times people have had to have their man cards threatened.

The first week, Ryan and Trevor (or as I call them TrevoRyan) decided that during the first quarter of the game they'd discuss the Bachelor. Yes, the crappy reality television show where the dude picks a woman to date after sleeping with 14 other chicks. Or however it actually works. Now, granted, the topic of the Bachelor came up because we were discussing the awesome state of NFL quarterbacks, and Jesse Palmer was once an NFL quarterback and the Bachelor. But, still, talking about the Bachelor while out with two other guys watching football is grounds to have your man card temporarily suspended.

But in paled in comparison the horrible offense committed last night.

There are four of us last night for the game, and unlike the previous week the entire place wasn't completely dedicated to the game. There was a women's college hoops game on a few of the flat panels (and let me tell you that is not why God gave us flat panel televisions), there was Versus on a few (so we got to watch deer and buffalo hunting on tv ... odd), the game was on most of the TVs, and the jukebox was on.

And so I'm sitting there watching the Texans-Broncos game, making countless jokes about the greatness of a quarterback named "Sage", eating fries and buffalo wings, when the unthinkable happens.

Over the speakers, from the jukebox, comes Kelly Clarkson and "Because of You". During a football game, when I'm trying to eat my man food. And I couldn't do it. I had to put my wing down until the song was over, because it just didn't feel manly enough to eat a buffalo wing while that song was blaring.

And I don't know who put that song on during a football game, but whomever it was, when we find out who you are, your man card will be suspended for a long, long time.