Sunday, February 11, 2007

Hey God, Can We Just Be Friends With Benefits?

So, Journey was very, very good tonight. We discussed the second half of Luke chapter eight, and how God works to restore people. How he restored a man who had been possessed by assumedly hundreds or thousands of demons and been afflicted with a lifetime of pain and struggles. How he restored a woman who had suffered through 12 years of bleeding that caused her to be unclean, caused her to be an outcast, and caused her to be without physical, emotional and spiritual things. And how he literally restored life to a body.

And we discussed how it might just be important to want to seek God for who God is, not just what God can do. To seek a God to commune with, to love and live with, not just a God who can do things and a God who is a spectacle and a show to behold.

Slowly, but surely, the wheels in my head started turning. I'm not the deepest and most understanding theologian. I'm also not the most understand or knowledgeable husband in the world. But I am a thinker. And, even though I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will never fully understand my wife (or women), I also know that I have a better understanding of my wife than I do of God.

Sure, it helps that my wife is finite, and I can have tangible interaction with her, and I can directly see the impact my words and actions have upon her. But, still, I understand her better than I understand God.

And so, this leads me to believe that I understand how to relate with my wife better than how I understand how to relate with God. And so I began to connect our discussion with a chunk of scripture. A passage in Ephesians usually read at weddings to give instructions on how we should relate to our new spouse. But maybe it's there to teach us about how to relate and seek and interact with our God.

And I started to think we should be relating to our God as we (should) relate to our spouses. Not as we treat a girlfriend, someone we commit to for a season and then consider upgrading with or moving on to someone better or different. And definatley not as we treat a "friend with benefits" (note: I hate that term and what it means in terms of relationships, but it worked so well for the examples flowing in my head), someone we get involved with only for the stuff they can do for and with us.

But how often do we (do I) treat my Savior, my Lord, and my God this way? Do I come to Him and seek His ways, until I see something that looks like it might be a better option? Or come to Him only when I need something or want Him to help me in some way.

Yet, when I honestly look at my self, and I honestly look at my heart, when I honestly look at my hopes and dreams and desires ... I see that I don't want to serve and interact with my God in those ways. I want to interact with my God in a way that I daily walk and talk with Him, and daily seek to emulate Him and learn about Him and His heart.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Sometimes, I hate my dreams

I think I've mentioned before that I rarely remember my dreams. Hence, I probably tend to overvalue meaning and significance on the rare event that I do remember one.

Well, last night was a night when I had a memorable dream, as much as I'd like to not remember it. It was a frustrating dream, dark and gloomy, but still holding onto a feeling of reality that couldn't be shaken. Those, to me, are the worse kinds.

Anyway, my dream starts with me waking up in my bed, and feeling not as a dream. The clock shows something around 2:30 in the morning. I sit up in bed to try to clear my head, and suddenly the hallway in front of my bedroom gets darker and darker.

I can't see what's going on in the hallway, but a feeling of doom and oppression comes over me ... a feeling of dread and fear, as well. I can't faintly hear what sounds like horse hoofs in the darkness of my hallway, and motions of darkness within the darkness. The darkness begins calling out myself and my wife, in a deep ominous tone, but then suddenly stops, and the darkness is gone. Everything is back to how it was.

I glance over at my clock and not a moment has passed. I look down at Rachel to see her peacefully sleeping, and begin to get back under the covers, when I hear the same sounds I heard in the darkness, but see no darkness. Instead, in front of my eyes, running down the hallway in front of my bedroom are millitant guerillas, each firing a semi-automatic weapon into my bedroom as they run past. About a dozen of them run past and fire, before I snap awake.

I hate dreams like this.

Who'd have thunk I'd long for the days of Byron Leftwich ready to beat me down?

Thursday, February 08, 2007


Let's see ...

Still very excited about Aflac. Still loving the company, and really loving my direct superiors. Had my computer training on Monday, and even though it was a waste of my time, at least I'm certified to sell through an official Aflac laptop now. Still looking for my first sale though. So if you have any warm leads ...

Still serious about writing a book. Leaning towards an attempt at an epic fantasy novel. I've started outlining the tale, named the major character, and started to shape how it might tell through the lore of fantasy some of my personal religious beliefs.

Still very excited about Journey. Seems like every week I go, or anytime I do anything related to it, my excitement grows. I honestly feel as if we're part of something much bigger than just what can happen in Findlay. Almost like we're following in the footpaths of Martin Luthor. And that's exciting, even if it is a bit hyperbolized.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Don't Wait for the Hearse

Don't Wait for the Hearse ...

what a horrible slogan for selling Christ, if I may say so myself.

Why are so many so unsure of what Christ has to offer in this life, that they can only hope to offer the next life and promises there that they cannot even describe?

Aren't we compelled to a higher, brighter, greater life through Christ, not just a glorious afterlife? Aren't we given more answers, more joy in this life through Christ? Isn't the journey with Christ as good as the promise of the reward?


I just don't get some Christians ...

(and, yes, this is a direct response to a certain church with a 30 foot Jesus escaping from the ground)