What is Enough?

So ... there's a song that I used to sing quite often. I still sing it quite often, to be honest. I'm just not sure if I've ever sung it with a true heart. You've probably heard of it.

All of You
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every hope
And every need
You satisfy me
With Your love
And all I have in You
Is more than enough

Seems simple enough.

Tonight, Rachel and I attended the Ellery concert at Journey.

There was a (indirect) challenge given. Is it "enough" to have a "faith" that if we pray hard enough, God will change the situation? Regardless of whatever we do. If someone is sick, or lonely, or living in poverty, or trapped in any of a wide assortment of challenges life throws at us that God never really intended us to have, can we really get by and do "enough" without getting our hands dirty?

Have I been singing that God is enough, but only because I don't want to be part of the solution? Is He enough for me because I'm not waiting for someone to "get dirty" to help out? Because he's not placing me in situations to get dirtier than I want to get?

I honestly, honestly think I can find my answer in the book of James:

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds."
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.

Here is my prayer:

God,

Strengthen me to show others than You are enough for them.
Embolden me to represent you.
Empower me to fulfill promises you have made.
Keep me steadfast to my word.

Amen.

Maybe I got one ...

Well, I asked for a break, maybe one is on the horizon. Just not sure it'll be soon enough to count for my next quota deadline.

Kris and I got a call from someone looking to add Aflac to their portfolio. That's right. Not a referral, not a warm reception ... someone actually asked us to come out by calling us. We gathered information on them, and it looked like a 30-40 man group. Pretty decent size, definitely worth pursuing (of course, I think any sale is worth pursuing). So, we get there, and we're going through the presentation, and find out the group is actually about 100 employees locally, and about 350 employees nationally.

So that's pretty sweet. Here's hoping it works out. T'would be a decent payday, to say the least.

On a related note, I'm growing more and more comfortable presenting the products every day. I'm interjecting more in presentations, and adding small insights that are helpful. Very cool to see actual growth in myself like that.

On an unrelated note, I'm totally excited to start working on the program book for STE. I'm overloading myself with ideas, and I need to schedule some time soon to work on putting the ideas in writing and moving forward with them. It's an exciting overwhelming!

Changing the Blog

Made some changes to the blog today. As I mentioned a few posts back, I just moved on from Secretary for Sigma Theta Epsilon to Vice President for Sigma Theta Epsilon. So, I thought this would be as good a time as any to make some changes.

You'll notice you can now see the tags from all my previous posts, and sort through them that way. You'll also notice a picture from my wedding, and a new title. The new title (I'm Just a Witness) is not just about my man-crush on LeBron James, but is also on the renewal I have in my life to be an honest Witness for Christ, for STE, and for Journey.

There might be a few other minor changes coming ... like, hopefully, more frequent updates. I guess we'll have to wait and see ...

Frustration

All I need is one break.

Honest, that's it.

Something in this industry to go my way.

Thought I had one coming. Thought I had a slam-dunk, first account lined up today. Just had to figure out when we were going to cross the t's, dot the i's, and move forward.

But, I got another "I'm not saying no, I'm saying not right now".

And it's frustrating.

I just need a break.

So, if you're reading this and you are a small business owner, or you know a small business owner ... can you help a brother out?

Replacing an Icon

Been busy lately. This past weekend was Sigma Theta Epsilon's National Conclave of Chapters. Leading up to the meeting, I was National Secretary, and coming out of the meeting, I'm now National Vice President.

It's odd. I was elected National Secretary three years ago (in 2004), and I had no timidity about my ability to do the job, even though it didn't exactly match my skillset. I was a wide-eyed kid, about to be fresh out of my undergraduate studies, but I knew what I needed to do, and I knew I could do it.

It probably helped a great deal that I had a checklist of tangible measurable things (like getting out newsletters, membership records, and the such) that I could measure my success against that would help me. It also helped my confidence that I walked into the office with its standards not exactly the highest, and simply catching up on the past two guys' lack of work would be a success.

Now ... I'm National Vice President. Charged with being the programming and spiritual leader of the fraternity. Something much more suited to my skillset. And yet, I'm much more tentative about having success. Some of that is the success in this office is less tangible and less in my full control. Are there programs available? Are people using the programs? Part of it also has to be that I'm replacing someone I consider an icon of the fraternity, and a mentor of mine, in the position.

I think I'm off to a good enough start. Lead devotion Sunday Morning, encouraging us as a fraternity and as men of God to not limit ourselves to trying to do what is good, but try to do what is better. Introduced a programming theme, "Made For Love", and using a key verse of Micah 6:8, encouraged our members to be made for love, and to love loving others.

And now to follow through.

The weekend was amazing, but difficult to get through at times. And not just for business stress. Also for emotional baggage. Shan lead worship on Sunday morning, and the beauty of my brothers singing in my voice moved me, and brought me memories of JZ. I almost doubled over, overcome with emotion, and had to leave the room, but was able to make it through. The image of JZ looking down on conclave from heaven, and smiling as we moved forward as fellow workers with God was almost too much for me to bear.

It's not as though I shouldn't have seen it coming. I've had a string of bad days recently where thoughts of JZ have just rushed into my head and overwhelmed my emotions. About ten days ago, I was out shopping with my wife and her mother, and just got this urge to talk to JZ about the Indians ... get his opinion on if they could only keep one, who should they keep: Pronk or Hafner. I could hear him arguing both sides, just trying to put all information out. And I missed him so much. And I still miss him so much.

I finally figured out on the drive home why this weekend was so difficult for me in regards to JZ memories. One, JT was the alumni delegate for my "home" chapter, and JZ's best friend. Two, of the two events I had no control over that pushed me to National focus, JZ was integral to both. He nominated me for Epsilon President way back in February of 03, and he organized the first multi-chapter STE Bowl game, which lead to my desire to see more of the same, as well as some recognition for me as chapter president, when the game was a great success.

I can credit my national involvement and my ascension nationally at least in part to JZ. And he's an icon in my life that none will ever replace.

I think I should look into getting some grief counseling. I've been overcome by emotion often recently. I've stared into the heavens and longed to talk sports with JZ. I've stood in department stores holding conversations with JZ. I've closed my eyes and asked Grandpa if he's proud of me. I've driven down 30 and wondered why I didn't do more to be closer with Erin.

It's not that I don't like to remember. I love to remember. It's not even the tears I don't like, because they remind me that I have great joy in part because of those I miss. It's just ... I feel like I'm not making progress, and I don't know what else to do.

I knew I was lucky when I got through 22+ years of life before I lost someone very close to me to the icy hand of death.

I guess I never realized just how lucky.

Meet me there

And now for something completely different ...

After a couple of half-serious posts, I thought I might post something serious, with a reflection from Journey a few weeks back ...

Let's say you and a friend are at your house, and you decide to go somewhere else. The friend says to you "you go on ahead, and I'll meet you there." So you both leave your house, and you take a path to your destination. Your friend is not beside you on that path. Are you mad at him? Of course not. The intention was to meet you there, not be at your side for every step along the way.

Yet, do we sometimes find ourselves in a similar situation with God, and get mad at him for only wanting to meet us at a destination, rather than walking every step of the way with us?

A couple of weeks back at Journey, we looked at the first half of Luke chapter 10. It opens by saying (NASB):

Now after this the Lord appointed seventy others, and sent them in pairs ahead of Him to every city and place where He Himself was going to come.

The Lord did not set out with them. He sent them to places he would be. Future tense.

And yet, this is somethign difficult to grasp, at least for me. Why wouldn't God be with me along the way? Why would God set me on a path, and only want to meet me at the destination?

Yet, the more I meditate and perculate on it, the more it makes sense. He is our Father. If you watch any parent, as their children begin to walk, they stand behind them, arms stretched down in case they fall. As the children become more stable in their walking habits, the fathers bend and stoop less and less. Eventually, it gets to the point where the father can sit across the room, and just enjoy watching his kid walk across the room without any help from him.

So why can't our Father be the same way?

He'll meet us there. Even if he's not there every step of the way. Even if we have to go through rough patches on our journeys. Even if we get delayed on the way. He'll meet us there.

And isn't that reason enough to keep walking towards whatever destinaton He's meeting us at next?

Days like this could kill me, but at least I'd die happy

Another solid day of basketball. Another solid day of bad-for-me food. The two seem to be going hand-in-hand. Also, Rachel decided to stay in Columbus all day. Not a coincidence that my food choices didn't become any healthier.

let's see if we can tally up the food (so far) today ...

2 corned beef sandwiches with swiss cheese on sourdough rolls
8 deep fried jalepeno poppers
4 boiled red potatoes topped with butter and oregano
3/4s of a cabbage (look, vegetables!)
1 large slice of pie
several heaping handfulls of garden salsa sun chips
1 can of pepse
1 corona

Add to that the self-imposed stress of near heart attack(s) from watching the Buckeyes game (thank you, Ron Lewis, for sparing various articles of furniture in my house from being destroyed), and following the Cavs game online (32-31 halftime with Boozer outplaying Hughes and LeBron combined??? thank you, Sasha Pavlovic for playing an entire game, and thank you LeBron for playing a rock solid second half), and I'm amazed I'm still alive. This day can't have been good for my heart.

Rachel better come home soon. I might not survive many more days like this.

And on that note, I think I'll go eat some more. I've got more Corned Beef, so that's an option. Or another big slice of pie ... or some Girl Scout Cookies ... hmmm ...

Without Women, Life on Earth Would End

It's true. Without women, life on earth would end. And, yes, physically, this is true. You need the oppossite sexes to create future generations. But let's go back to the beginnings.

Eden. God. Creation.

Surely, in his ultimate power, God could have created us as asexual being, able to reproduce without use of another being. He didn't, and for that we should be thankful, but he could have.

And why? For compansionship? For love? For (His) humor?

Sure, all of those might be true ... but in reality, it's for survival.

Man cannot survive (longterm) on his own.

Take me, for example. My wife goes out of town today, just for a one-day trip to see her mom. What's the first thing I do? Grab a couple extra pieces of greasy garlic cheese pizza and slam them down. Then, after vegging out in front of NCAA Basketball games all day, I take the hour off between games (arrgh! why didn't I get the Miami-Oregon game???), to prepare food. What kind of food, you might ask? Deep fried food. Popcorn chicken, tater tots, and fresh fried tortilla chips. And chased it all down with a Corona (that I got for free from Rachel's gramma).

And while I know this isn't good for me, I continue to do these things. Greasy food, less than healthy beverages, and movement enough to grab the remote and get more to eat.

And, I'm not alone. Check out today and yesterday in the life of Bill Simmons.

I'm telling you, sin or not, Eden or not, men alone would have found a way to deep fry stuff in the garden and kill ourselves off.

Thank God for women.

Modern Day Samaritan

Today, I tell you a story that I think is fictional, although it may reflect actions and behaviors of actual real people. This is not intended. The story is for illustration purposes.

One day, a man fell into the hands of the wrong crowd of people. He was beaten and robbed, and was left laying on the side of the road. His injuries left him incapable of moving to get help, and the gang that had beaten and robbed him took from him any means he had to contact someone for help.

Soon after the attack, a very prestigious ordained man walked past the beaten and bruised man. Seeing his pain, he stopped, and stretched his vocal chords. He spoke to anyone within hearing distance, willing or not.

"Clearly, this man has sinned against our God. Clearly, has taken a stance on abortion, homosexual marriage, poverty, war, immigration or the environment that is not pleasing to our God. And, now, we see that God is punishing him. Let his sad, sad story be a lesson to all of you, that you will repent, and follow me as I follow God, always being on his side of issues, so as to avoid punishment."

Having finished his speech, the prestigious ordained man left, and the beaten and bruised man was left no better than he was before the prestigious ordained man arrived.

Not long after this, a holy man arrived, fresh from leaving his place of worship, where he spoke to like minded folks about his faith. He saw the hurt, wounded, and broken man lying on the side of the road, and he could feel a part of his heart break. He walked over to the men, knelt and stretched his hand out towards him.

"Holy God, we put out trust in you. We see the terrible burden you have placed on this man's life. Lord, I know not the circumstances that lead to him being placed here, hurting and wounded, but I thank you for them. And I pray that this burden you have placed on him will lead him to salvation through you, will lead others to salvation in you, and will bring glory, and honor, and power to your name. Amen."

Having finished his prayer, the holy man stood up, and left and the beaten and bruised man was left no better than he was before the holy man arrived.

A short time later, a man with no identifiable clothing nor any identifiable bumper stickers showed up on the scene in his modest car. He saw the hurting man, and brought his car to a complete and total stop. He left his car and went to the man, checked his vitals, and seeing that he was alive but in pain, scooped him from the ground and put him in his car. He drove him to the nearest hospital, and went to the administrative assistant behind the desk.

"I do not know if this man has insurance or money, but here is my bank card information. Whatever charges are incurred to treat, heal, and nurse the man back to health, please charge to me. Here is my credit card, as well, and a phone number to reach me, if my bank card runs out of funds. Let me know when the man is healthy enough to be moved to a hotel, and I will return for him."

And the man with no identifiable marks left, and the beaten and bruised man was able to have his wounds healed, and able to return to full health.

And which of these three do you think truly served the Lord?

Head Games

I've now missed a day-and-a-half of work thanks to a migraine headache. I hate these things, but even more than that, I hate the effect the medicine I take has on me. Almost no strength ... boy, isn't that fun.

On the bright side, I still love my job. Haven't had a ton of success, but I'm getting better. I've improved from getting a single "no" from business owners to getting 15 or so. I guess that's improvement. Also, I do have a couple of appointments set up, so things are looking up, at least a bit.

Had some deep thoughts to share after jOURney last week, but my head isn't in shape to share them right now, so I'll have to share them later.

Gotta love a life where just about the only thing out of place in my life is my finances. And I honestly mean that.