Thursday, December 27, 2007

How Beautiful

How beautiful, the Body of Christ, when we can put aside differences, work together, and be a model for the rest of the world. Honestly, there's nothing like it.

Take, for example, the priests who brawled in Bethlehem.

Oh, wait.

That's not showing harmony in the Body of Christ at all.


My Stomach is Rarely This Happy

So, Rachel and I went out for lunch today. It was an odd day, I had to meet with my boss for a little bit right as she was ready for lunch, so I wasn't able to cook for us, like I have been lately. So we went out for lunch.

To Maria's Tacos. Man, I love that place. We got enough for lunch and dinner (or perhaps lunch tomorrow, not sure which way we'll go on that). That place has 100% perfect burritos, amazing chips and salsa, and I've never had a bad piece of food there. My stomach is so happy, and there's more food for later.

But, a trip to Maria's Tacos, as good as it is, is hardly blog post-worthy. What is, however, was the gentleman who was waiting on us. I kid you not, it was Caesar, from Gilmore Girls. That's right ... the guy who helped Luke out. He sounded exactly like him. He had mannerisms just like him. He was friendly and talkative just like him. He even kind of looked like him. It was kinda weird. I almost asked him if he had any chilled bananas.

Anyways, adding Maria's Tacos to Monday's Jac n Do's and Tuesday's Hong Kong Buffet makes me very happy. Now, all I need to do is mix in a little Dietsch Brothers ice cream and my Findlay Food Week can be complete.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Yes, yes he is.

And, here's the proof

Isn't it wonderful when technology works to enhance and enrich and modernize old traditions? It almost feels like we're using it properly when that happens.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Fun with Wikipedia

I love Wikipedia. It's a good fun site for quick lookups and starts on in-depth research. But, even more than Wikipedia itself, I love Wikipedia games.

For example, join me as I play Wiki-Band.

This is how it works. Go to Wikipedia. Use the "random article" function. The first article is the name of your band. The second article is the name of your album. The next 12-15 are the names of the tracks on your album.

For example, here's mine:

Band Name: Cultural Safety
Album Name: Oswald Watt Gold Medal

1. Aeschines
2. Grey Bunting
3. Teúl de González Ortega
4. Dhivehi League
5. Spike: Old Times
6. Tirunesh Dibaba
7. Ran (film)
8. Laserpitium latifolium
9. Patrick Kisnorbo
10. Bell 400
11. Lilies of the Field
12. Sankofa
13. Ridin' High (Moxy album)
14. Franky Vandendriessche
15. Weddersleben

My band is awesome. I imagine we're some sort of hybrid between Releint K and Showbread. Awesome.

Monday, December 17, 2007

For Jenette ...

I'm not sure I've ever dedicated a blog entry to anyone before, but there's a first time for everything, right?

So this entry goes out to Jenette. Mainly because when I read the clip I'm going to post below, I immediatly thought of her, mainly because I have no problem at all picturing the described interaction happening in her household. Mainly the nicknames, and the last line celebration, but none of it is all that much of a stretch.

Of course, having said that, it's also not much of a stretch to imagine it happening in my household, either, assuming Rachel and I ever have children. Nor is it difficult to imagine it happening between Ryan and Andrea. Or, well, a whole host of my married friends. It seems we're all pretty odd.

Without further ado, I present a copy-paste job of this week's much anticipated, many times postponed, and highly hillarious Sports Gal's Rant, via the Bill Simmons Mail Bag from December 14th:

Since giving birth six weeks ago, I haven't picked up an Us Weekly, read or watched a movie from start to finish. My whole life revolves around nursing my son, or as I like to call it, "giving the boob." (We'll call it the GTB from now on.) With all the diets out there, I'm blown away there isn't a Hollywood Lactation diet. I mean, you lose 500 calories a day -- that's at least one sprinkles cupcake or a large Pinkberry with fruity pebbles on top! How come there isn't a breast pump for non-moms called the "Fat-Sucker" on QVC? If Britney had only known, maybe she would have given up the Vodka Red Bulls post-partem and hit the breast pump.

Unlike some new moms who wake up every two hours, I'm not losing much sleep because I sleep facing my baby. If he gets hungry during the night, I just pop open a button and he's ready to eat. Sometimes, I'll even fall back asleep for the rest of the night this way -- Bill calls it the "24-Hour Drive-Thru." Bill loves making breast-feeding jokes. If the baby is hungry in the morning, Bill shouts, "Give him the boobs benedict!" If he's crying in the afternoon, Bill says, "Give him the boobs marsala!" or the "boobs and chips!"

We have a good sense of humor about GTB in the Simmons family. Even when our daughter lifted up her shirt and tried to GTB her brother once, we thought it was funny and never considered having her see a psychiatrist. Another good thing about breast-feeding: When you leave your house, just bring a nursing frock and you're good to go. I know I'm upsetting the La Leche League here, but I'm in the Barbara Walters school -- you shouldn't GTB outside your immediate family unless you're being discreet. One of my male friends recently watched his friend's wife GTB right in front of him, without a frock, and couldn't even carry a conversation because he was so rattled. I felt bad for him, and not just because Bill would pass out in the same situation. Anyone who GTB's without a frock needs to get over themselves.

Lastly, you can multi-task when you're GTB-ing. In fact, I wrote this whole rant during a GTB session and probably burned 150 calories. Woo-hoo!!!

I Miss John Stewart

I miss John Stewart and Stephen Colbert

And I know I'm not alone

I hope they end the strike soon ...

But, in the meantime, maybe this can tide you over.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Loss of Man Card

So, on Thursday nights, some fellas from my church go to Wings 'n' Things here in town to watch the NFL Network Thursday night game. I've been the last two weeks, and both times people have had to have their man cards threatened.

The first week, Ryan and Trevor (or as I call them TrevoRyan) decided that during the first quarter of the game they'd discuss the Bachelor. Yes, the crappy reality television show where the dude picks a woman to date after sleeping with 14 other chicks. Or however it actually works. Now, granted, the topic of the Bachelor came up because we were discussing the awesome state of NFL quarterbacks, and Jesse Palmer was once an NFL quarterback and the Bachelor. But, still, talking about the Bachelor while out with two other guys watching football is grounds to have your man card temporarily suspended.

But in paled in comparison the horrible offense committed last night.

There are four of us last night for the game, and unlike the previous week the entire place wasn't completely dedicated to the game. There was a women's college hoops game on a few of the flat panels (and let me tell you that is not why God gave us flat panel televisions), there was Versus on a few (so we got to watch deer and buffalo hunting on tv ... odd), the game was on most of the TVs, and the jukebox was on.

And so I'm sitting there watching the Texans-Broncos game, making countless jokes about the greatness of a quarterback named "Sage", eating fries and buffalo wings, when the unthinkable happens.

Over the speakers, from the jukebox, comes Kelly Clarkson and "Because of You". During a football game, when I'm trying to eat my man food. And I couldn't do it. I had to put my wing down until the song was over, because it just didn't feel manly enough to eat a buffalo wing while that song was blaring.

And I don't know who put that song on during a football game, but whomever it was, when we find out who you are, your man card will be suspended for a long, long time.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

100th Post

Here it is ... my 100th post on this blog.

Not sure it's a milestone worth celebrating or whatnot, but at least there's a good story for it.

And it involves something kind of like the number 100 ... well, at least something that involves two identical round objects.

Tonight marked my first trip to Hooters. Great atmosphere for watching a football game, really good food (had hot wings and jalapeño chili nachos), and an overall fun time. Had heard about the good food for a while, but wasn't close to one or had an actual reason to go until tonight. And of course, the reason to go is because where I'm at the Stillers game wasn't local, and the two BW3s I tried to go to were full beyond belief.

But of course, just going isn't enough to make this a worthwhile story for my 100th entry on this blog.

My company is.

I went with my wife.

And my mother-in-law.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Soup For You?

Attention people local to me:

At Thanksgiving, I made sure my mother-in-law didn't throw out our turkey carcass. Rather, I spent time that evening making homemade stock out of it. That stock is currently frozen in my freezer, along with turkey meat. That means all I have to do to make homemade turkey frame soup is get the veggies and the noodles, and let it cook itself.

So, here lies my problem: lots of stock for a big pot of soup, itty bitty freezer. (Say that line again, but this time say it like Genie from Aladin. It's more fun that way. Trust me. Do it! Do it now!)

So, I'm looking for some people who want to get together and have turkey frame soup for dinner with Rachel and I. If you've never had it, it's not that dissimilar to chicken noodle soup, only it's made from turkey.

If you're interested, let me know and we can set up a time.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

As Monty Python Might Say ...

I'm not dead yet.

I'm getting better.

I ... feel ... happy!

So, after getting more sleep in two days than I got some entire weeks while I was in school (both BGSU and ONU), I think this head cold from hades is finally starting to go away. All I've got left is some serious fatigue and a little tickle in the back of my throat.

And so I have the following request:

In an age of technology so great, can someone please, please, please find a way to make a Tylenol Cold & Flu that doesn't taste like really crummy blue syrup from the shaved ice vendor at the zoo? Please? Is it that difficult to do?

Now, typically, I just use Ghetto-Quill (the Equate version of NyQuil), but we ran out this time, and we had Tylenol Cold & Flu, so I used that instead of going to the store to buy Ghetto-Quill. And I don't mind the taste of Ghetto-Quill. But the Tylenol Cold & Flu was just 100% nasty. I have to believe someone, somewhere can fix it.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Sniffle, Sniffle, Cough


I'm sick.

I hate being sick.

I've got a head cold.

I hate head colds.

The congestion, the drowsiness, the sore throat, the phlegm. I hate it. All of it.

I think I may just go back to bed today.